We’ve all experienced it, either as a parent or as an onlooker. A child misbehaving in the store. If it is happening to you, you might be feeling embarrassed. All these eyes are on you, what are they thinking? If you are an observer, are you guilty of judging?
I remember being in kindergarten and hiding in the clothes rack while my mom shopped for clothes. She knew where I was, and I was close by her. But I was self-entertaining to help pass the time. She was okay with this because I was close by and not causing a scene. However if I was 12 and hiding in the clothes rack, that is a different story.
Set reasonable expectations with your child. Are they close by so you can keep an eye on them? If they are not being disruptive to others, then they’re behavior might be okay.
There are lots of reasons a child might misbehave in the store so let’s take a look at each, and find ways to try and prevent it.
**The child may be hungry. So this is an easy fix. Feed them beforehand or have a snack available during the shopping experience.
**This also goes for them being tired. Do not time a shopping trip around the nap time.
**Your child might be bored. If they are old enough to be working on colors and shapes have them help you find the item you are looking for. You can even make a game of it and say “I spy something red” and have them look up and down the aisle looking for something red while you are looking for the item on your list.
You can help speed up the shopping experience if you know the layout of the store and plan accordingly. I would design my shopping list throughout the week, but before I went to the store I re-wrote it in the order of the aisles. This cut down on me needing something at the other end of the store after I’d already been there.
**Set the rules ahead of time and constantly remind them.
–Don’t touch items.
–Stick with mom.
–There is a time to act like a wild banshee (outside), and there is a time to stick close to mom.
–What other rules do you think your child should have?
** be sure and discuss consequences. If the child does not follow the rules, stick with the consequence for them breaking the rule. Many times kids act up in a store because they know mom and dad will not follow through with consequences.
When my five year old was having unacceptable behavior in the store, I told them if they did it again then we would leave the store. I followed through! I felt bad for having items in my grocery cart, but it was more important to set an example to my child. We left the store and went home. The next time we went to the store and my child acted up, I told them that we would leave, and they knew I’d follow through and the misbehavior stopped.
**Some people reward their kids with a treat if they behave the entire time. I see this as a form of bribery and I think my child should behave without needing to be bribed, but that is up to you.
It is totally acceptable to have the expectation that a 2 year old will behave in the store. If you have taken care of feeding them and they are well rested, and stick with consequences when they have temper tantrums, the misbehaving will eventually stop. Be consistent in following through when you say there will be punishment for certain behaviors.
I have parents who have me watch their kids well after the time they get off work because they want to grocery shop without their children causing a scene. This is not benefiting your child. It is much easier to train them and show them the expectations in a store when they are a toddler than when they are 7.
Once again, if you are afraid of being judged from people who see you struggling to parent your child in the store, just smile sheepishly and say something like “at least you don’t have to go home to this” and continue on your way. Once again, your child will know when you are uncomfortable punishing them in public and will act up every time you are in public.
Solving this problem by leaving them at home is not going to teach them anything. Suck it up and be consistent in your expectations and consequences.